Thursday, February 7, 2013

Nurturing Important Relationships


By Kelly Wickham


Take a moment to think about all of the important relationships in your life. Of course, families come to mind first. Our aging parents or growing children warrant our careful attention, but the grind of life can impede our ability to see how we’re impacting them if we are simply going through the motions. Teachers are often thought of in hindsight, yet we know they are planning curriculum and caring for our children, their students, as regularly as they breathe air. Other important relationships are those we have with our customers—the people who pay our salaries. Each day we have opportunities to interact with people with whom we have relationships. Are we doing so mindfully, thoughtfully, and patiently? Are we treating others in a way that lets them know we care about them?


 We all know that relationships take work if they’re going to succeed. This was never more apparent to me than when my youngest son was 3 years old. He wanted to spend time with me and begged me to read with him, but I was too busy getting dinner on the table and checking his siblings’ homework. I ignored his pleas as he stood on a chair in the kitchen. He had just learned a song about being happy and sang it as I multitasked—“If you feel happy . . . if you feel happy . . . if you feel happy . . . then clap your hands! I wasn’t connecting with him until he changed the words to, If you feel grumpy . . . ” and finished with “ . . . make a face like Mommy! I knew he was trying to get my attention and communicate that I wasn’t taking care of his needs. What I learned in that pivotal teaching moment was that if I wanted happy children, then I needed to be present and joyful with my kids. I turned off the stove and snuggled with my son. Nurturing our relationship was as important, if not more so, than filling our stomachs with food.


If you can, think carefully and consciously about how you nurture all the relationships in your life as you go about your day. You are bound to run into people who matter to you on varying levels and whose relationships are key to your survival or success. When we think conscientiously about why these people matter, we can get to the important business of considering how best to let them know.

This month on the Little Pickle Press blog, we’ll be exploring what it means to nurture the relationships that matter most in our lives. Whether you’re a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, a student, and/or a customer, we hope that you will join our conversations and share how you foster your relationships. 

17 comments:

  1. This is so important, Kelly. I have eight children, and they are all so different, with different needs- but they all need to have individual attention and affection from us. I sometimes find one of them acting blue and out of sorts, and when I take the time to think about it I realize it's probably because I have been too busy and not spending enough time with that child. You made a great point about nurturing ALL of our relationships. It may seem a bit overwhelming, but the rewards will be so awesome.

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  2. This post couldn't be more timely, for us. Our parents are aging, so fast it seems. We just said we need them over for dinner more often so we can keep an eye on them. Every day we spend together now, is treasured as time speeds up.

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  3. Kelly! Perfect topic for our busy lives. While I am single, I find its key to wiggle my way into my friends and their kids lives, otherwise I won't see them. I attend soccer games, babysit and just pop over. Yes, I do the unannounced pop over. Sometimes its the only way I will see my friends. Since they are like my family, I make sure I see them. But lately, I have been busy with Grad school and a new job. So, I have not been the pesky Auntie Melanie as of late. Between keeping tabs on my 87 year old mom and my busy life, I have been out of sorts. Thanks for the reminder to be mindful during my day. I need to let love guide me, lead me to to my loved ones. Great post, Thanks!

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  4. Holy smoke! 8 children! You deserve a medal. I commend you for even attempting to be mindful. Maybe you could try a family yoga class? Infuse the mindfullness into your family thru Yoga. Sending you good thoughts wrapped on love and light to that big heart of yours. :)

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  5. Thank you Melanie! I homeschool, so we spend a lot of time together in general. The best time, though, is after naptime when we all sit together and work on our individual projects (like knitting or writing or whatever) and talk, and then go for a walk.

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  6. Powdered_Toast_ManFebruary 7, 2013 at 1:26 PM

    I think I take my relationships for granted. I will plan on working on them this month. That is some good advice. I'm gonna enjoy some pickles.

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  7. If there is one thing I have learned in the past few years of my life, it is to nurture the important relationships - especially when distance separates you from those you love and care about. As a teenager and young adult we often forget how important relationships are when it comes to our family. We'd rather spend time with our friends and significant others than going to movie night with Dad or brunch with Mom. As you grow older you sometimes have to learn the hard way that time is precious and those around you will not be there forever. I realized this at times too late, but I can make a difference now and secure relationships in the future. Thank you Kelly, for this wonderful post. I think we should all take a moment to think about what is more important, as you did when you turned off the stove to spend a few minutes listening to your son.

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  8. Thanks, Emily! Teenage years are probably the worst/most difficult for that. I am reminded daily, but I keep that story about my son in my back pocket to check myself occasionally.

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  9. It made me smile to re-read this article. Thursday night is Girls' Night in our home. I pick the girls up from school, we have a special dinner together, and sometimes watch a movie with popcorn all with no "baby brother" to divert attention. Thanks for so eloquently setting the tone for the month, Kelly.

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  10. This is why we need to live closer, Melanie! I love the unannounced pop over. Since my kids are getting older I cherish those more than ever since my kids are gone.


    Go be unbusy and enjoy.

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  11. It's funny how that seems to go in spurts, Jodi. Just last week I had several friends mention it all at the same time. It reminds me of how seasonal it is and also how we can support one another while we're living through it. I hope you have a support network available to you.

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  12. I'm always amazed at how larger families manage to give everyone what they need, Khadijah, but I suppose it's like juggling anything else. You reminded me of how different mine are (and I have half the number of children as you!) and how it's important to meet one child's needs at a time. (I hope!)

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  13. Thanks Kelley, I must confess I wish you lived closer, too.

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  14. Rana, a girls night sounds fun. If I felt better, i'd do the Melanie pop-over. Kiss the pickles for me. Soon.

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  15. The article and your comment made me smile. My family loves Tuesdays, because that is when Mom is a real mom and picks us up from school and we do simple and silly things together.

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