Featured Young Writer: Healthy Relationships in Middle School

by Sarah Marjorie 

Little Pickle Press is proud to expand our base of writers to include a Young Writer of the Month. We value the voices of all our readers and writers so we're reaching out to students and young people to hear from them on important topics that impact their world, too. 

 JD Hancock via photopin cc

I’ve been thinking about relationships a lot lately, and why wouldn't I? I'm in middle school. As a 7th grade girl, the relationships I have with my friends are the things that get me through the day. Some days, it’s all I’ve got. I don’t mind conflict, but when my friends haven’t spoken to me for more than a day, I will definitely confront them about it. I'm an honor roll student involved in a lot of activities and having friends is a big part of that. Upon reflection, here are some important parts to having healthy relationships in middle school.

3 Tips to Any Healthy Relationship: 

1. Safety - In a healthy relationship, you have to feel safe. Being in a healthy relationship could be as simple as laughing together and being happy, or as wearisome as giving someone the key to your overall being, and trusting them not to break you. We kids are pros at knowing that we have to be safe even though sometimes we aren't. You can't be healthy unless you're safe.
2. Communication - Healthy communication means that you're not suffocating another person. Our world is filled with new technology such as Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter. We communicate a lot. That's not even counting how often we see each other at school. I'll admit that there can be too much of a good thing. Yet, constantly demanding attention from our friends can definitely make one wonder about over-communicating. When you over-communicate, your friendships dissipate, and that’s the opposite of nurturing friendships. 
3. Trust - You have to trust your friends and family. Without trust, there’s no base to a relationship. When your best friend trusts you with their biggest secret - the way that my friend told me - is a big step for them, and for you. They’ve trusted you! If you go behind their backs and tell other people, you are in danger of destroying the relationship. In some situations, there is no way to regain the trust of the person you’ve betrayed, but in others, it’s a trial and error situation. To win back your friend’s trust, you have to work your way up a tall ladder, slowly showing them that they can still trust you. 

Take me for example. My best friend and I, we have very similar personalities. We both have to be right, all the time. Therefore, to make sure our friendship stays strong, we’re careful about how we communicate. However, she and I didn’t just know how to get along right away. It took practice. We each learned where the other’s breaking point is. We know when to stop. I know that whenever I bike over to Julia’s house, I won’t be leaving in a hurry because I’m mad or upset. We laugh together and most definitely feel safe with each other. Julia trusts me with some of her biggest secrets (I can’t reveal them for obvious reasons), and I trust her with mine. When I leave her house it’s always with a “Love Ya!” and a wave.

Healthy relationships aren’t just something you can brush off your back or add to a ‘Maybe Later’ list. They’re something that you absolutely cannot live without.