Last week the children in Newtown went back to school. More
stories about random shootings make momentary headlines. And although there is
still some news about the quaint Connecticut town, I am afraid that the
Newtown tragedy will soon fade as things get back to
“normal."
Since the shootings we have heard from the commentators,
police, mental health specialists, the clergy, and yes, the NRA for solutions. I
have heard countless individuals punting the problem to someone or something
else. On Facebook and with every Teddy Bear and candle left for the victims we
prayed. It makes us feel like we are doing something. However, punting the
problem to God or anyone else does little to address the
real issue.
Some suggest we provide better mental health services to
identify would-be killers. Again, this is passing
the problem over. Let the government and health care system figure this out. True,
mental health services could be significantly improved, but it isn’t
the solution.
Others blame violent video games, TV, and movies. And while
I agree that these pastimes might contribute to the objectification of human beings,
not everyone who has ever watched a violent movie or played a violent video
game ends up a mass murderer. Hardly. Plus, video games, TV, and movies are not
something that most of us are in a position to change.
The NRA’s solution to put guns in the hands of good guys and
security in the schools is the most transparent “It’s not me” solution out
there. It isn’t a gun problem that creates mass murders, though why
anyone needs a semi-automatic with clips that can kill many in seconds eludes me. When the second amendment was written it was one gun and one bullet at a
time. The NRA needs to give this one up. But we still won’t stop the killing.
The bottom line problem—it’s us. We live in a society in
which humanity is someone else’s problem. I am fine, we say to ourselves. We
don’t recognize the violence we are capable of committing every day. Many are
not willing to look inside to see how violence can manifest in the things we
accept as “normal."
Violence
isn’t just physical. Any action in which a person is seen as only an object and
a lesser human being is violent by itself. Look at some random acts of violence
that don’t require an AK 47. How about gossip? Hurtful back-talking? Blaming?
Bullying? Shouting in anger to get a point across? Bemoaning another’s
accomplishments, hopeful they will be taken down a few pegs—as I was once told.
How hurtful those things are. How violent. Yet we accept these things as
“normal” or at least not violent.
We pass on the gossip and feel superior doing so. Soon gossip
becomes truth when it is repeated enough. Our culture has taught that we can
boost ourselves by the demise of another. Unless we are willing to change that
behavior in ourselves we are lost. None of us are perfect. Many don’t even
recognize their behavior as violent. Perhaps if we just pledged to ourselves to
catch those random acts of violence toward another person we could condition
ourselves to be more compassionate the next time. If we don’t, we will just
continue to accept that hurting others, in whatever form, is A OK. We can’t
afford to foster the next mass killer by allowing
everyday violence.
So instead of pushing the problem off to the government, the
police, the mental health specialists, the gun dealers, and God, let’s
pledge to ourselves to take on the challenge of building a world
with more compassion and love for humanity. It is the one thing we as
individuals can do.
It's the best New Year’s resolution I can think of.
As an invited expert to countless advisory boards on women's
health issues, Susan Wysocki has worked with the world's top experts in women's
health. The former President and CEO of the National Association of Nurse
Practitioners (NPWH) for many years, she is also continuing as the Editor in
Chief of Women's Health Care: A practical journal for nurse practitioners. She
carries over twenty-five years of experience in women's health advocacy,
networking, writing for publications, and speaking to audiences large and
small.
Stock images courtesy of stock.xchng
It's true that what seem like the smallest actions often have the biggest effects. I know that one of the most important things I am doing in my time on this earth is raising a family of kind, conscientious children who I hope will raise their children in the same way. I follow the methodology of trusting in Allaah and tying your camel. I trust in Allaah, and I do all I can to make the little bits of the world that I encounter a better place.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your perspective, Susan. I share your view that we need to be the change we wish to see in the world.
ReplyDeleteTo quote Edmund Burke, "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." And it applies not only to gun violence, but to all of the other social ills Susan mentions. As individuals, each of us has the power, and responsibility, to initiate change as we move through our lives..
ReplyDeleteSusan, what a powerful post. Your statement, "Our culture has taught that we can boost ourselves by the demise of another. Unless we are willing to change that behavior in ourselves we are lost," goes right to the heart of the matter. We can't change others, but we sure can make positive changes in ourselves that can have great impact in the lives of those around us.
ReplyDeleteSusan and I are on the same page about this:
ReplyDelete"Violence isn’t just physical. Any action in which a person is seen as only an object and a lesser human being is violent by itself..." and "Yet we accept these things as “normal” or at least not violent."
In schools, we look for those small, benign behaviors that slip past us because, if left unchecked, can grow into anger that devolves into violence.
So true! There is not a better way to have exposed the problem. So many of us find it easier to put the blame on another person or thing instead of taking action towards fighting the violence. We really need to embrace the wisdom that Susan has shared, as a society, because "we can't afford to foster the next mass killer by allowing everyday violence." Great post, Susan!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your feedback. Keep the comments coming. The solution will take all of all taking personal action. Some of these actions seem so small. In truth, some of them are very difficult. I have found myself biting my tongue when tempted to say something nasty about someone I don't like. It is hard and seemly not as "rewarding" as going negative. I am learning, however. It takes a commitment to do so even if the results aren't immediately obvious. We must start with ourselves.
ReplyDeleteWell said! The battle over gun safety will continue and we fail again to really address the problem of human behavior and how we treat each other in society.
ReplyDeleteThank you Susan for your perspective. Your call to "pledge to ourselves to take on the challenge of building a world with more compassion and love for humanity. It is the one thing we as individuals can do." Yes!
ReplyDeleteI agree, Susan. The little things can be very difficult and require great calm and discipline. Habits run deep and we don't always recognize when and how we're being harmful. I know this is true in my own actions.
ReplyDelete