by Audrey Sillett Lintner
It is almost taken for granted that we will love our
families. But are we kind to them? Does familiarity breed contempt? Let’s look
at a few scenarios and consider possible reactions.
Scene #1: Breakfast. Mom is rushing from stove to sink to
fridge to table, trying to fill orders for hungry family members. She barely
has a chance to grab a bite for herself, but manages to serve up the meal with
a smile. Her efforts are greeted with:
A. “I’m so sick of scrambled eggs.”
B. “Not bad. Gotta go!”
C. “Thanks, Mom! Let me fix a plate for you.”
Scene #2: Weekend chores. After his weekly assignments are
done, Junior notices that something has spilled in the garage. He takes it upon
himself to clean up, wiping up the spill and sweeping the rest of the floor.
Dad says:
A. “It’s about time you started earning your keep around here.”
B. “You missed a spot.”
C. “Thanks, Son. I appreciate your hard work.”
Scene #3: Errands. Dad returns from a trip to town, bearing
a bag of candy for Mom. Her response is:
A. “Are you kidding me? You know
I’m on a diet!”
B. “Thanks, but next time bring dark chocolate, okay?”
C. “Aw, how thoughtful! Here, share them with me.”
It’s a pretty safe bet that we all know what our answers
should be in each case, but how well does should
translate into reality? Do we
sometimes snap at family members, knowing that they won’t snap back? Do we keep
a tally of our give-and-take, expecting a return on our good-deed investments? Are
good manners good enough, or do we need to dig deeper and build relationships on
a bedrock of kindness?
It’s easy to say thank you, but maybe not so easy to explain
why you’re thankful. Try this today! Write notes to family members, explaining why
you think they’re special. Hide the notes where they’ll be found.
Question: Does a dinner deserve a thank you?
Photos courtesy of stock.xchng
I wonder if the feeling of gratitude even exists in many families. I grew up in a family in which the highest compliment from my Dad was "not bad". He said "thank you" for presents he got, but not for anything else, certainly not for any chores we did around the house. He was raised that way, and I suppose the examples in any family are the lessons that carry over to the next generation. My mother got a little better as time went by, and I noticed much more appreciation and praise with her grandchildren. Good post, Audrey. Thanks for writing it. ;)
ReplyDeleteSimply put, yes. I thank my children, and they thank me! This is something I have taught them from tiny- not only to be grateful, but to show that you are grateful. This is actually from Islaam- showing gratitude to the people is showing gratitude to Allaah. People sometimes think it's strange that I say thank you when the children do something I tell them to do, but you would amazed at what a kind, gentle, environment in creates in the home!
ReplyDeleteNot sure if this will come up double, but yes, we always show gratitude to each other with "Thank you's" all the way around in my family. Even for a dinner, lovingly prepared. It does wonders for the atmosphere of the home in general, and everyone feels valued. It's also from Islaam- to show gratitude to the people, is showing gratitude to Allaah.
ReplyDeleteI agree that sometimes we take our family members for granted. We assume that they know we love them, they know we appreciate them. But that may not necessarily be the case. I love the prompt for this post.
ReplyDeleteMy maternal Grandmother taught us from an early age that she did things for us because she loved us. Much of it revolved around her phenomenal southern italian cooking and the best handmade ravioli ever. But a "thank you" was important because it was both acknowledgement and appreciation for the love and effort behind the act.
ReplyDeleteSaying "please" and "thank you" goes right along with breathing in our house. There's nothing like the smile of a little boy who's just been told, "Thank you for being my big helper".
ReplyDeleteAs Mr. Manners (@MisterManners) reminded us all last December, the three most important manners (and by extension, ways to demonstrate kindness) are to say "Please", "Thank you", and "I'm sorry". All three are necessary to foster family harmony and kindness to one another. Thanks for the post, Audrey.
ReplyDelete