Life for military kids is one of transitions. Families must adapt to new homes and schools every few years, and often at least one parent is on an overseas tour and absent. It’s disruptive, physically and emotionally, for everyone, but especially for youngsters. Families learn to create stability within their daily lives by establishing familiar environments and routines. At our house, the sofa was always under the living room window, the TV on the opposite wall with the familiar oil painting of wild horses over it. It didn’t matter what country we lived in, or what the outside of the home looked like, the inside never changed too much.
Another routine that was cast in stone was the family dinner. We ate at 5:30 p.m. when Dad got home from work, and even when he was deployed, that schedule remained, and dinner was served. My mother cooked a meal for us every single day, we sat down to eat it together. When it was done, we all helped clean up. This was non-negotiable until we were almost adults and after-school activities sometimes kept us away. Even then, dinner was warmed and saved for us in the oven, and we ate it later.
The book is filled with interesting and fun things: photos, quotations, musings, advice, stories, but most importantly, interesting and varied recipes that will appeal to young and old alike. My favorite? Thai Chicken Wraps (page 66) and most of the recipes are the kind which welcome team participation during preparation and eating. There are plenty of choices for every palate and no chance of boredom.
Whatever your life transition entails, give yourself and your children a hot and homemade meal and the comfort of a daily routine. We all need predictability, stability, and security in our lives. This is an easy way to guarantee a small dose of it every day, as well as nourishment to our bodies. Don’t be surprised if your kids linger after dessert, and share more of their lives with you. Isn’t that what all parents hope for, that special connection and trust with their children?
What about you? Do you have daily routines that anchor your family? How do you stay connected? Do you cook for your family every day? Share with us what works for you!
12 comments:
Dani, do you know why you most likely ate dinner at 5:30p.m.? Because Walter Cronkite was on at 6:00pm! I too kept the family dinner tradition going with my own family..we however, ate more like 7:30-8:00pm when my husband got home. Yes, it was an important time for us with a competitive game of UNO after. My kids have great memories of those days. We still have Sunday dinner with our kids and friends. Special and very important times!
We enjoy dinner together each day at 5:30 pm as well. During the meal we each share The Rose of our day as well as The Thorn. Often times The Rose is the meal itself. I'll look forward to picking up this cookbook. Thanks for the meaningful post, Dani.
We actually didn't have TV when I was a kid. I'm that old. Haha. Seriously, it's because overseas the technology was a little slower and I was a teen before daily television programming became available. (Gunsmoke with German voice-overs - fun times!) Good thing I grew up with the dinner hour because my husband is a meal-man and neither of us likes to eat out much. So dinner is daily, and Sunday dinner is like a religion around here! I'm thinking general good health is linked to this habit in a big way, too.
My grandpa always tells me stories of the freedom he had in his childhood, growing up in St. Louis during the depression. He spent all day working odd jobs (setting up pins at the bowling alley, etc.), running around with his friends watching airplanes take off, and exploring. The one thing that was always expected of him was to be washed up and at the dinner table at 6:00pm, and not a minute later. He has always taught me the unspoken importance of having that ritual, and I have always planned on having the family dinner with my children in the future. It is an excellent way to add stability. Thanks for this article, Dani! Rana, I love the idea of daily "roses" and "thorns"!
Nice blog. I do so agree that family dinners are very important, even if as we did in my family when my kids were growing up, have lots of heated political discussions. I had five kids and each of them had their own views, and none were alike. It was fun actually.
Family Dinner was and still is a tradition within the different branches of my family. We had "best moment" and "least favorite moment" and it was great to sit around with everyone. No television, and the telephone was never answered while we were at the table either. Today, all gadgets must be switched off and the phone is still not answered. Thanks, Dani.
I don't remember specific topics like "best" and "worst". It depended on the daily mood, I guess. I remember the occasional "children should be seen..." comment from my Dad when he felt like yacking with my mother about something grown-up. Then we all shut up. Really, I think this conscious kind of dinner chat is a more modern convention. That said, the daily "sitting together" in all our various moods over the years, probably taught us as much as planned discussions. There weren't behavioral expectations, just a meal together with familiar faces. Even that adds up to a good foundation over a long period of time.
Dinner is lovely way to anchor a family and infuse connectedness. While I, too had a similar family dinner time experience, my journey while teaching children has allowed me to showcase an adult idea; teach connectedness. Meaning,I have taught children that while they may be physically far from those they love, the experience of their loved ones never leave them. All they have to do is bring them to mind. Therefore teaching children those they love and are always in their hearts. Children love the idea and have whole heartedly embraced this concept. Over and over I have watched children integrate this practice in their lives. It is a remarkable site to witness. This truth has been the foundation for my new book. The book was inspired by my niece Amanda after my foster mom had passed away. Amanda still practices this truth when ever she misses her grandmother. You can try it during dinner, at bed time or while driving your children. Makes for great conversation and promotes connectedness.
I was a miliary brat and we always ate at six o'clock. We had to eat at the table, but the TV was always on for my brother and I. Now our routine is dinner at five and since I'm adult, we eat in front of the TV!
Eating dinner together is a big priority for us. We each usually share the high points and low points of our day. Lately, we've started playing the animal game at dinner. Someone thinks of an animal and the others have to guess what it is by asking only questions that require a "yes" or a "no." Over the last few months, we have started playing Uno or Chinese checkers at the table after dinner.
Seriously, Alex, you got to watch TV? That is so unmilitary! I was astounded the first time we went stateside to visit American relatives, and they all had TV trays. That was a big new fad around 1960. I'm really showing my age here, huh? LOL. Bet Mr. DiOrio remembers those. I thought they were weird? You?
Lovely piece, Dani! Thanks for the memories. We had dinner at five-thirty every night regardless (even when we were camping or traveling!) and my mom cooked after she got home from work. I fix dinner from whatever's fresh in the garden every night now, and when our "kid" (who is 33 now) comes home, she always helps in the garden and in the kitchen. Family rituals matter!
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