Put-ups: Random Acts of Kindness

By Rana DiOrio, Founder, Little Pickle Press
August 24, 2010

We have another parenting technique that we have found to be very useful. We call it “put-ups.” No, not pull-ups—the transition diapers, but put-ups.

What is a put-up? A put-up is a random act of kindness. It is when you do something nice for someone else without being asked to do so. For example, when our oldest notices that her younger sister is having a hard time tying her shoe and offers to help her, that’s a put-up. When one of our older children sees our youngest about to get into harm’s way and redirects him, that’s a put-up. When one of our children clears away another family member’s plate from the table, that’s a put-up. Our 22 month old has watched his sisters do this so many times, that he now does it himself (while singing the clean-up song—too cute for words).

Reporting a put-up. The way put-ups work is that our children may self-report a put-up (for something they did at school for instance) or someone else can notice their put-up and acknowledge it. Once a put up is reported, our child attains a star (or a pumpkin, a snowflake, a heart, or a dot, we vary the notation seasonally) on the top of our family’s monthly calendar.

Rewarding put-ups. Upon accruing 10 put-up stars, our children get to choose the reward of their choice. Rewards range from a trip to the bookstore or a museum with mom or dad to a picnic with a friend and mom or dad. We reinforce the message that the great feeling you get when you help another person is actually the reward for a put-up. But we realize that young children may need some extra incentive at first.

Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we were all focused on put-ups!?