Featured Customer of the Month: McNally Robinson Booksellers

By Cameron Crane

In my opinion, if you are a reader, there are three things that are almost guaranteed to happen to you at least once in your life: (1) you will fall head over heels in love with a book (or a character in it, or both); (2) you will so deeply admire an author that you will find a friend in their words; and finally, (3) you will one day find a bookstore that is so special, it becomes a second home. I say this as a reader who has experienced all three of these things a multitude of times—most recently in my position as the Marketing Professional at Little Pickle Press.

The first time I read Spaghetti is NOT a Finger Food and Other Life Lessons, I fell in love with the book and even more in love with its protagonist, Connor. Before I ever talked to Jodi Carmichael on the phone, I found myself smiling or audibly laughing every time I read one of her emails, blog posts, or Facebook statuses. And when McNally Robinson Booksellers hosted the launch of Spaghetti in Winnipeg, I knew that it was a bookstore so special, it would immediately feel like home if ever I got the chance to walk through the doors.

Jodi Carmichael greeting her audience at McNally's

Jodi signing copies of Spaghetti for some lucky readers!

Jodi's special audience showing support with Spaghetti t-shirts!

I knew this for several reasons. First, I knew that any bookstore that supported Spaghetti and Jodi was a bookstore I liked. Second, in Jodi Carmichael’s blog post with pictures from the event, not only was she glowing with excitement, she also casually referred to McNally’s as “the finest Independent Book Store in all of the world”. But this notion didn’t truly set in until I visited McNally’s website and began to really explore what they are about.

McNally Robinson is a family-oriented independent bookseller, committed to the values of community bookselling. They believe that “reading is co-relative with a thoughtful, imaginative and fulfilled life”, and, as the launch of Spaghetti demonstrated, they go above and beyond to foster a love of it. From the floor-to-ceiling tree with a winding staircase leading to the kids' department, to a beautiful collection of children’s books and a highly supportive staff, McNally’s is definitely a placed to be loved. And we do!

Thank you, McNally’s, for your generous support of Little Pickle Press, Jodi Carmichael, and Spaghetti!

The Relationship Between Sexual Abuse and Eating Disorders

By Jennifer Lowell, Ph.D.

Image Credit: theunsecretshopper.com

Millions of people, both females and males, are affected by eating disorders in their lifetime. Eating disorders are psychological illnesses that result in preoccupation with food and eating, and often with exercise, weight, and body image. The most well known types are Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa and Binge Eating Disorder. Eating disorders often begin during adolescence or young adulthood, but can emerge earlier or later in the life span. They arise from multiple factors that differ from person to person. These include personality traits, genetic vulnerabilities, cultural pressures, family messages, and/or triggers stemming from significant life events. One circumstance that is strongly considered to be a risk factor in the development of an eating disorder, principally Bulimia Nervosa, is sexual abuse. This link is further supported when Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) appears subsequent to the abuse. With that said, it should be noted that not all children who are sexually abused develop an eating disorder, and not all individuals with Bulimia or an eating disorder were sexually abused.

The impact of childhood sexual abuse varies for each person. Some possible repercussions are shame about oneself, shame about one's body, and/or irrational guilt over feeling responsible for causing, or not preventing, the abuse. Additional potential effects include feelings of loss of control in one's life, powerlessness, body dissatisfaction, anxiety related to intimacy and sexuality, and rejection of one's own sexuality. The consequences of sexual abuse are not always immediate, but may arise later, because even after the abuse has stopped, the emotional injuries can persist.

An individual who has been sexually abused and is dealing with difficult feelings, memories, thoughts, and impulses is more vulnerable to developing an eating disorder because of its comforting, albeit destructive, qualities. The use of food, either through overeating, purging, or restricting, serves as a coping mechanism to distract, numb, control, empower, or in other ways, pacify or self-soothe the individual. For example, bingeing may offer comfort by stuffing down or suppressing uncomfortable feelings, while purging may release anger or function as a means of self-punishment. Striving to sculpt a perfect body through compulsive exercise can evoke feelings of power and self-worth that was damaged by the abuse. Additionally, making oneself appear unattractive by being too heavy or thin can be a way to de-sexualize and protect oneself from the sexual interest of others. While the symptoms of an eating disorder may appear to be about food, they generally have little to do with hunger or fullness. Instead, they act as a means to relieve the myriad of emotions and tension brought about by the abuse.

While both eating disorders and sexual abuse are heartbreaking and painful, recovery and healing is possible. Many therapeutic methods now exist that help repair the wounds of trauma, including talking and somatic-oriented approaches. Additionally, many different types of eating disorder treatment are available, including newer, promising approaches for teenagers.

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Jennifer Lowell is a Clinical Psychologist specializing in individual therapy, eating disorders, and attachment issues, and maintains a private practice in San Francisco, CA and Kentfield, CA.

With over 12 years of experience as a psychologist, and as a graduate of Pacifica Graduate School of Psychology, she is currently working as a private practitioner and sees a broad spectrum of clients. Among her areas of expertise are eating disorders including anorexia, bulimia, compulsive eating, disordered eating, and body image issues, as well as depression, anxiety, loneliness, relationship concerns, insecurity issues, and attachment wounds. 

Resources for Discussing Safety with Children

By Cameron Crane

As we continue to conquer the topic of child sexual abuse, safety, and prevention, one thing is becoming extraordinarily clear—the best way to protect your children is to educate them. Having a conversation about safety with your children does not have to be scary. In fact, having the tools and knowledge required to keep themselves safe can be quite empowering for children.

At Little Pickle Press, safety is a topic that we discuss often, from physical to emotional and social safety, even cyber safety. We strive to offer tools that help to begin these conversations. In case you missed them, here are some of our favorite safety articles and resources that we have published on our blog:

10 Internet Safety Rules for Children

5 Principles for Children to Counter Possible Deception

What Does It Mean To Be Safe? at Home

What Does It Mean To Be Safe? A Teachers View

What It Means To Be Safe, According to Kids

What Does It Mean To Be Safe?

What Does It Mean To Be Safe? on Facebook

Halloween Safety Tips

Torey Hayden: Between Fear and Hope

Domestic Violence: America’s Hidden War

How do you talk to your children about safety? If you have additional resources that you would like to share, please do so here!

Eyes Wide Open: Warning Signs of Possible Sexual Abuse in Children

By Khadijah Lacina

 Image Credit: http://www.couriermail.com.au/lifestyle/parenting

What would you think if, when doing laundry one day, you found notes in all of your little girl’s pockets with one word written on them: “Help”?

Hopefully you would do what this child’s mother did. She took the notes seriously and got assistance for her daughter. Unfortunately, the warning signs of possible sexual abuse are not always this clear, and can take the form of both behavioral and physical symptoms.

“Warning sign” is really just another way of saying “opportunity for prevention or protection.”  It provides adults with the tools to recognize possible problems and to take action to protect the children. We must be educated and aware of this, as it is our responsibility, as adults, to look for and notice symptoms of the sexually abused child. To this end, we asked Samantha Maciaszek, Marriage and Family Therapist Intern (MFTi), to explain some of the signs and symptoms of child sexual abuse, as well as some suggestions as to who to contact if we suspect a child of being a victim. This is her reply:

What is child sexual abuse?

The National Center on Child Abuse and Neglect defines child sexual abuse as "any childhood sexual experience that interferes with or has the potential for interfering with a child's healthy development.”

Facts and Statistics

There are approximately 60 million sexual abuse survivors living in the US today. 73 million boys and 150 million girls under the age of 18 were victims of forced sexual intercourse or other sexual violence in 2002.

Child sexual abuse perpetrators are often someone close to the child and/or the family of the child. This includes family members, friends, neighbors, teachers, coaches, clergy, and older youth. Persons in authority and caregivers in whom society places trust and power do not always warrant such license.

Signs and Symptoms of Child Sexual Abuse

Children who have been sexually abused frequently demonstrate symptoms in the following categories: (a) physical, (b) emotional, (c) behavioral, (d) sexual, and (e) no symptoms at all.

Physical signs of child sexual abuse are less common and include urinary tract infections, swelling or rashes in the genital area, sexually transmitted diseases, and physical symptoms associated with anxiety such as headaches or chronic stomach pain.

Emotional symptoms are more common and include depression, anxiety, inappropriate anger, rebellion, and suicidal ideation/attempts.

Behavioral signs include bed wetting, nightmares, irritability, eating problems, secretiveness, compulsive washing and/or masturbation, unwarranted fear of people and places, refusal to attend school, withdrawal from family and social situations, running away from home, and reenactment of abuse on objects or with others.

Sexual symptoms include unusual interest in or avoidance of sexual ideas and materials, seductive behaviors, creating drawings that illustrate sexual acts, and encouraging other children to perform sexual acts.

These signs and symptoms are not uniformly displayed by victims of child sexual abuse. Responses are idiosyncratic and are influenced by a variety of factors that include the child's age at the time of abuse, the child's relationship to the perpetrator, the responses by adult caretakers, the extent to which violence was part of the abuse, and the duration of the abuse. Consequently, some children will demonstrate florid symptoms while others exhibit none. Compounding these difficulties in identifying victims of child sexual abuse is the fact that most of these symptoms are shared with other common childhood developmental tasks and stages, illnesses, and mental disorders.

Resources that can help if you suspect abuse:

• San Francisco Child Abuse Prevention Center
• Child Protective Services (All calls are anonymous. If you have reasonable suspicion that a child you know is being abused, make the call.)

References:

Dove, M. K., Miller, K. L. Child Sexual Abuse: What Every Educator Should Know. (2007)

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Samantha Maciaszek is working towards becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist. She currently works as a school-based family therapist intern at Adda Clevenger Prep School.

Featured B Corp—Journey Healing Centers

By Audrey Lintner

Courtesy of Journey Healing Centers

When my husband was diagnosed with lymphoma last year, we started on a long road toward healing and wellness. I watched the debilitating effects of chemicals being pumped into his system, and paced waiting rooms while surgeons exercised their skills. We regrouped after every bit of bad news, and celebrated after every health “victory.” Throughout the entire ordeal, we have been supported by friends and family. The cause of our pain was obvious, and we've never once had to face it alone.

The pain of addiction, and the cause behind it, is often much less obvious. Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, and a host of other influences can lead to drinking and drug abuse patterns that can eventually become prisons. Adding to the pain of addiction is the feeling of solitude or rejection. It’s easy to sympathize with a cancer patient; it’s also easy to feel disdain or even contempt for “that junkie down the street.”

Our Featured B Corp for the month of June is Journey Healing Centers, a group of drug and alcohol treatment centers that treat the entire person, rather than just their addiction. Relying on individually-tailored programs, serene settings, and a caring staff, Journey Healing Centers seeks to heal and unite the minds, bodies, and spirits of its guests. Yoga, meditation, and painting are paired with counseling at individual, family, and group levels to reach complete restoration.

Awarded the Gold Seal of Accreditation by the Joint Commission on Accreditation of Healthcare Organizations, Journey Healing Centers continues to seek the highest levels of performance and contribution. Guided by their stated values of personal development, service, sobriety, innovation, transformation, and fun, Journey Healing Centers has achieved B Corp status. “Simply, our company, Journey Healing Centers, is a mission-driven organization. In other words, to join Journey is to take on a lifestyle transformation and commitment to personal development. We resonate with what B Lab is taking a stand for and we are proud to support the movement!”

Crutches for a broken leg are easily discarded. Crutches for a broken life are much harder to cast away. If you or a loved one need help to break the cycle of addiction, please consider calling Journey Healing Centers. 

First Friday Book Review: My Body Belongs to Me

Written by Jill Starishvesky and Illustrated by Sara Muller

Reviewed By Cameron Crane

This month, as we dive deeper into the difficult topic of child sexual abuse, you may be starting to feel a sense of urgency. Okay, we see the statistics, now what? Fortunately, this is precisely the power in education: if information is absorbed correctly, it often leads to action. In the case of child sexual abuse, educating the people around you about is an essential part of the solution. And the conversation begins with your children.

As Jill Starishevsky pointed out yesterday in her article Dispelling 10 Myths About Child Sexual Abuse, this is easier said than done. Many parents fear that talking to their children about sexual abuse is inappropriate, or that their child is too young to be learning about such things (although experts believe the appropriate time to approach the subject is when your child hits three). Others simply don’t know how to begin the conversation. Fortunately, Starishevsky created a tool that does just that.

My Body Belongs To Me is a critically acclaimed book that sensitively establishes boundaries for children by speaking to them on their own terms. Telling the story of a gender-neutral child who is inappropriately touched by an uncle’s friend, this tale delivers a powerful message when the youngster reveals the offender and the parents praise the child’s bravery. Most importantly, this narrative assures young ones that sexual molestation is not their fault, and that by speaking out, he or she will continue to grow big and strong.

Through the voice of her protagonist, Starishevsky approaches the topic of sexual abuse with a similar tactic Rana DiOrio uses in What Does It Mean To Be Safe?, engaging the reader in a non-threatening way that empowers them to take action if they feel something is unsafe. My Body Belongs To Me teaches children that when it comes to their bodies, there are some parts that are for “no one else to see” and encourages them to tell a parent or teacher if someone touches them inappropriately.

I love the way that My Body Belongs to Me places the child in a position of power, even as he is victimized. Moreover, the excellent use of rhyme helps this story feel more like a fun read, and less like a lesson. The delicate and factual approach to the different parts of the body, including those which are private, allow parents and educators to feel comfortable reading the story without a fear of revealing too much.

A “Suggestions for the Storyteller” section is also included to assist parents in facilitating a comfortable discussion about sexual abuse. It gives parents the opportunity to reveal themselves as a resource should anything happen, eliminating the feeling the child may have that talking about an experience will somehow get them in trouble, a fear that many abused children harbor.

If you are wondering what you can to do help stop this terrible epidemic, please consider having the conversation about sexual abuse with your children. You can purchase My Body Belongs To Me here.